How can a Long Distance Relationship Work ? Laursite

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If you are willing to work it out, here?s how to give it every chance to survive and thrive.

Remember that it can work out, statistics show that an estimated 2.9% of US marriages were considered long distance, with 1 in 10 marriages reported to have included a period at long distance within the first 3 years.

Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: ?Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?? or ?What are you looking to get out of the relationship?? Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.

Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won?t be seeing each other, it?s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don?t always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Ensure the e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort. Write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or men send flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand?you don?t take communication for granted!
You can set up reminders, including automatically-recurring reminders, for this purpose in calendaring software on your computer or online. This is especially important when you don?t have much contact with the other?s friends to remember important events such as birthdays.

Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don?t fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven?t met or he/she didn?t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn?t mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don?t have ?face-to-face? time and to test (and express) your feelings. As long as you see the long-distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

Try challenging each other. This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can do things for each other that you couldn?t quite find the motivation to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you both something to strive for and talk about until then.

Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some ?rules? about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them. Consistency can help a long-distance relationship survive.

Remember that you?re still in a relationship. You HAVE to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in trouble, or hurt, or whatever, you have to be there for them.Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. If they end up dealing with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of course, that means being actually, physically there for them.

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Source: http://www.laursite.com/lifestyle/how-can-a-long-distance-relationship-work

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